When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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