white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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