my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The adults are the big ones right?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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