I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize