OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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