is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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