So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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