3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize