i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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