i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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