You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
