what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
