If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
