So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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