are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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