PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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