we're blogging at a bar
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
