Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
