Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
