it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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