Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
