Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
