so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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