Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
