Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
