At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
