Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
where are my eyebrows?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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