hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
