she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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