Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
