i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
