I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
