you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
