3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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