oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
