The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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