Porn is love you can see.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
