Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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