I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So squirting runs in the family.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
