To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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