Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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