I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
