I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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