She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
