I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
