ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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