And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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