What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i dont even know how to be here
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
