Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
