i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
