Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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