I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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