In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
