Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
