just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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