Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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