I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
