SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
