I need help removing her.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
