I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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