Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
